Author Topic: 10 Things Only People From Jacksonville Understand  (Read 12137 times)

Metro Jacksonville

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10 Things Only People From Jacksonville Understand
« on: October 09, 2014, 03:00:03 AM »
10 Things Only People From Jacksonville Understand



Motovo's Cassie Sheets provides our readers a list of 10 things that only people from Jacksonville understand. Take a look and let us know if you agree with her assessment!

Read More: http://www.metrojacksonville.com/article/2014-oct-10-things-only-people-from-jacksonville-understand

mtraininjax

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Re: 10 Things Only People From Jacksonville Understand
« Reply #1 on: October 09, 2014, 03:12:01 AM »
One thing to add to this is the vast park system that anyone from Jacksonville realizes we have here in all of Duval County. Being the largest land mass city, with enormous park resources, we have a lot to offer people. We also offer the largest amount of swamps and swampy areas with those parks, as most of the south side was nothing but swampland before it was developed. Not hard to understand as the land mass of Florida used to be under water.

Further I would state that people from Jacksonville are the only ones I know who will drive their trucks through flooded streets without a care for anyone else. Just watch the waves of water in Riverside and San Marco after a good rain.
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jcjohnpaint

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Re: 10 Things Only People From Jacksonville Understand
« Reply #2 on: October 09, 2014, 07:04:09 AM »
No. 9 is one of my students. 

camarocane

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Re: 10 Things Only People From Jacksonville Understand
« Reply #3 on: October 09, 2014, 07:29:05 AM »
This old list should be updated, but it was funny a few years back...

1. You are either a Gator or a Seminole. You have no choice. If you abstain, you will be assigned a team. There are no other schools. It's better to learn that sooner rather than later.

2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. No one pays attention to them here. Merging, yielding, and right-of-way are completely foreign terms.

3. To find anything in Jax you are required to know where Regency Square is. It is the Alpha and the Omega: the beginning and the end.

4. Directions to anywhere may, and usually do, make a reference to 'the old Pic and Save'.

5. The morning rush hour is from 6am to 10am. The evening rush hour is from 3pm to 7pm. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.

6. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended, cussed out, and possibly shot.

7. East Rd. meets West Rd. on Beach Blvd , but they both run North and South.

8. Normandy Boulevard, State Road 228, C ecil Field Road , Maxville Road , and Post Street are all the same road.

9. On the southeast side of town, Hartley Road , Shad Road , and Hood Road are all the same road. Hartley Road is the western part of the road, and Shad Road is the eastern part of the road.

Now don't be confused about this Hood Road .

This is the West-East part that is in between Hartley and Shad, not the North-South part that starts out as Old Kings Road South , changes into Hood Road South , and ends at Losco Road .
 
Got it?

10. Construction is a permanent fixture in JAX. Which makes sense, because the traffic cone is the State Flower of Florida. The barrels are moved around in the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting.

11. Watch very carefully for road hazards suc h as deer, skunks, dogs, barrels, cones, cows, horses, pot holes, cats, pieces of other cars, single shoes, opossums, truck tires, raccoons, squirrels, rabbits, crows o r vultures feeding on any of these items.

12. The minimum acceptable speed on J Turner Butler Blvd is 75 mph. Anything less is considered downright sissy. This is Jacksonville ' s version of NASCAR.

13. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously.

14. If you are in the left lane, and going only 70 in a 55 zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off' accordingly.

15. Ground clearance of at least 24 inches is recommended for city driving.

16. If it's 100 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next weekend.

17. There are really only two seasons here: Summer and January.

18. There is actually a Westside high school that has a confederate battle flag as its school flag, an image of a slave plantation owner as its mascot, and Dixie as its school song. Just accept it. Please don't make a fuss about it, for your own safety.

19. Ponte Vedra is to Middleburg as oceanfront is to double-wide.

20. If you choose to live in Orang e Park , or, God forbid, Middleburg, plan to leave for work at 4am and return home around 11pm. Otherwise you may get caught in what can only be described as 'the world's longest left-turn lane'.

21. Don't get here late and expect something to eat. After 9pm, your choices are Famous Amos, Village Inn, and Krystal.

 22. You can buy a million-dollar condo downtown on the river, but you have to drive 10 miles for a loaf of bread, and never after dark.

23. The Landing is an interesting place. Every time you visit, there will be a whole new set of restaurants, fewer stores, and less parking. Hooters, however, is a permanent fixture.

24. All city council decisions must be signed off on by First Baptist Church .

25. North Phillips highway. Don't go there. Ever. Unless, of course, you are looking for motels that charge by the hour.

 26. Learn all of the lyrics to every Lynyrd Skynyrd song. Trust me on this one.

27. If you like southern-style b arbecue, you've come to the right place. There's a restaurant on every corner, but they all close at 9pm.

 28. Convenience stores are literally EVERYWHERE, unless you live in a million-dollar condo downtown.

29. You can leave Jacksonville , but the blinking light of Five Points will always call you back. (jacksonville has its ways of sucking you back in)

30. No matter where you want to go, you can't get there from where you are...in other words, you can't get there from here

« Last Edit: October 09, 2014, 07:33:22 AM by camarocane »

TheCat

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Re: 10 Things Only People From Jacksonville Understand
« Reply #4 on: October 09, 2014, 11:59:35 AM »
I have to echo, we are surprisingly unadapted to driving in the rain.

A few more I would add...


A city with beaches and a huge river that about 10 people use.


Success is defined by the size of your truck (my mom's brilliant observation).


A general sense of sadness for people who walk or bike to a destination. There is an automatic assumption that they are helpless.


A general sense of sadness for people who walk or bike to a destination...they might be killed in the process.


A surprising amount of trust in "authority".  The first person or organization that says "I'm in charge" is usually obliged.


I have to disagree with the Jaguars have a sense of humor bit. Just mention anything potentially negative about the Jaguars and it is like someone profaned a religion.

So, it should read "In Jacksonville, football is a religion. Tread carefully."









Wacca Pilatka

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Re: 10 Things Only People From Jacksonville Understand
« Reply #5 on: October 09, 2014, 01:06:09 PM »

I have to disagree with the Jaguars have a sense of humor bit. Just mention anything potentially negative about the Jaguars and it is like someone profaned a religion.

So, it should read "In Jacksonville, football is a religion. Tread carefully."

Perhaps I can better explain this.

Jaguars fans (I'm one) do have a strong sense of gallows humor about the team's rough patch over the past few years, both amongst themselves and with opposing fans.

However, we are exceptionally defensive against (among other things) national perceptions that Jacksonville can't support a football team and against locals who advocate supporting the colleges in lieu of (rather than in addition to) the local team.

Much of this is driven not by a religious love of football, as you are wont to proclaim, but by a fervent love for the city and a strong perception that the city will be nationally humiliated, and therefore its image and self-esteem devastated, if something were to happen to the team's future in the city.  Some of us don't even care about football for the sake of football that much - our love for the Jaguars is driven by love of the city and defensiveness against national media condescension toward the city.

In fairness, this probably causes us to evaluate the scoreboard decision at least partly through teal-colored glasses.  Not that fans can't examine the situation critically, but we collectively put a higher than average value on the intangible benefits of an NFL team than a non-fan or less close Jaguars observer might (e.g., the charitable involvement of the players, great stories like their providing a signed football to the boy who lost his last week, and just the effects that having a professional team can have on the national profile of a city).  So when a situation like the scoreboard proposal arises, we're most likely quicker to see the potential benefits and less likely to pay attention to or seriously quantify the detriments.

We also may tend to lump in those who are making serious, substantial criticisms of the stadium spending with those who wantonly ridicule the franchise, root for it to move, cultishly devote themselves to advocating for certain athletes with local ties, assume the players aren't doing as much as they are in the community or are "thugs," etc.  It's unfair of us to make those assumptions, and I know I'm guilty of it.  I see something like that meme you posted of the scoreboard a while back, and I tend to associate you with the people in town who trash the franchise and openly root for the Jaguars to move away as a result.  That's not fair of me.

But none of this makes us blind morons, and many of your posts on the subject are shot through with that similarly unfair implication.
« Last Edit: October 09, 2014, 01:16:49 PM by Wacca Pilatka »
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PeeJayEss

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Re: 10 Things Only People From Jacksonville Understand
« Reply #6 on: October 09, 2014, 01:16:43 PM »
Hey, buzzfeed.

Gunnar

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Re: 10 Things Only People From Jacksonville Understand
« Reply #7 on: October 09, 2014, 02:58:44 PM »
29. You can leave Jacksonville , but the blinking light of Five Points will always call you back. (jacksonville has its ways of sucking you back in)

Yup, I can attest to that  :)
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fsujax

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Re: 10 Things Only People From Jacksonville Understand
« Reply #8 on: October 09, 2014, 04:28:51 PM »
I agree with number one. No one gives a crap about Orlando.

JaxNative68

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Re: 10 Things Only People From Jacksonville Understand
« Reply #9 on: October 09, 2014, 04:50:23 PM »
If you haven't experienced having a case of jiffy foot weekly during the summer, you did not grow up in Jacksonville.

thelakelander

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Re: 10 Things Only People From Jacksonville Understand
« Reply #10 on: October 09, 2014, 04:56:25 PM »
I didn't grow up here but have heard the term since the 1980s. What exactly is Jiffy foot?
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Tacachale

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Re: 10 Things Only People From Jacksonville Understand
« Reply #11 on: October 09, 2014, 04:57:51 PM »
If you have to ask...
Do you believe that when the blue jay or another bird sings and the body is trembling, that is a signal that people are coming or something important is about to happen?

Tacachale

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Re: 10 Things Only People From Jacksonville Understand
« Reply #12 on: October 09, 2014, 05:00:47 PM »
http://jiffyfeet.com/the-defintion/

Quote

JIFFY FEET – THE DEFINITION

Jiffy Feet is a Southern Term which is used to describe the layer of black filth one would get from walking, to, from, In, and around a convenience store, aka “Jiffy Store” barefooted.

This Term “Jiffy Feet” which is used to describe this phenomenon got its name because the predominate convenience store chain of the area was named the “Huntley Jiffy” or “Jiffy Store” for short and was owned and operated by the Orange Park based Huntley Family. Due to the 342 stores that peppered North Florida and Southern Georgia, The Term “Jiffy” became the generic phrase that all locals used to describe any and all convenience stores. And in the same manner, the term “Jiffy Feet” became the phrase that is used to describe any and all filthy feet, regardless of how they were acquired.

...

Do you believe that when the blue jay or another bird sings and the body is trembling, that is a signal that people are coming or something important is about to happen?

JaxNative68

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Re: 10 Things Only People From Jacksonville Understand
« Reply #13 on: October 09, 2014, 05:08:07 PM »
^^^^ and the secret is out.....

David

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Re: 10 Things Only People From Jacksonville Understand
« Reply #14 on: October 09, 2014, 05:30:00 PM »
I tried using the term "Lil Champ feet" growing up, but it didn't have the same ring.

This list is one of my favorites, it's more specific than the other list that have came out. (People in my hometown love sports, oh boy! etc) Most of it I can relate to, although I rarely brave the wait at Metro Diner anymore.