OK, before you read this, I'll need everyone to take off your teal-colored glasses and sit down. I don't need emotions here. Save it for your wives, girlfriends and pets.
AT 1-4, THE JAG'S SEASON IS NOT LOST!
have you stopped laughing yet? I'll repeat for effect....
AT 1-4, THE JAG'S SEASON IS NOT LOST!
You have to look at the bigger picture, and that is that we're only 2 games from first place and have a 1-0 record in our division. NFC West, I'd like you to meet AFC South. It's not going to take 10 wins to make the playoffs, hell, the way things are going, we can set a new NFL record and be the first team to win a division at 6-10. (I kid. Well, only kinda)
Ladies and Gentlemen, your AFC South Line-Up!!!!!!!
<Bruce Buffer Announcement> We've known them as perenial champions and past Super Bowl winners. They have dominated this division and the NFL for most regular season wins and best bitter-beer-face. This year, they have the chance to be the lucky winners of the Andrew Luck Sweepstakes! Coming in a steady 4th place with no hope as long as #18 is in the press box calling plays instead of on the field making them - Your......... Indianapolis Colts.
Coming in 3rd after just paying HUUUUGE money to keep their rushing attack strong. Losing their wiley deep threat in week 3 and having the aging Hasselbeck keep the future of the franchise on the bench with his uninspired play. The Tennessee Titans. Let us not forget their Week 1 loss to the Jags, having to start the season 0-1 in the division and managing to beat a few weaker teams in the league.
2nd place honors for the AFC South this year will go to the Houston Texans. Why not? The league's perennial favorite to knock off the Colts have yet to do what a little neck surgery had no problems with. Knock the Colts off of the pedestal. Now with Mario Williams out for the season, Cushing one piss test away from a yearlong suspension and hamstring injuries running amok..... History says that they'll once again find a way to once again end up the bridesmaid looking forlornly at the new bride - in her Gorgeous Teal Fucking Dress!
That's right. Jags win the division through attrition! OK. We have a top 5 defense this year. We've lived by our D and died by our D, and this year is the year of the D in a world of Big O. We held the Saints to a respectable score. The Rookie from Auburn couldn't get anything going against us. Since he's fired anyway, I'm blaming the whole Bengals debacle on Turk - who's out. Our Offense is getting to be less offensive. Our rookie from the midwest is progressing quickly, and soon, we'll be seeing 4-5 drives that mimicked the opening drive against the Bungles.
Jags win the division. Jags into the playoffs. Simple. (but not pretty)