Come To Jacksonville!
Experience The Worst of Human Behavior Yourself!
You, too, can get that "just arrested" feeling you witness on such shows as C.O.P.S. and Tales of the Highway Patrol!
Witness crack whores selling their wares!
See the street people pushing all their worldly belongings in shopping carts!
Be accousted for money by drunks outside of convenience stores!
Stay in an actual hotel where displaced families are living, six to a room, and watch as the police visit on a domestic call!
Sleep in the very rooms where crack dealers hide out from the police!
Hear the gunshots!
Watch as police evidence vans run more yellow tape around another senseless killing!
Try to have a conversation with one of our many high school drop outs! You have a 4 out of 10 chance of meeting one!
For an enhanced experience, visit the mayor's office, where corruption occurs on almost a daily basis, and no one does anything about it....
Visit our new CourtHouse....coming soon, as soon as hell freezes over!
For environmentalists, come see token efforts to go green as the St Johns river turns green from a bloom... be careful not to breathe too deeply!
Take home a sample of the St Johns.... It makes a wonderful chemical solvent!
See a historic structure, but hurry while supplies last, they are "selling out" quickly... or being sold out, take your pick!
You can visit the Busch and Bacardi plants for free tours and samples... you'd have to be drunk to deal with the shock of the visit.
You will consider it your best trip ever, because anywhere you go back to will seem much better than when you left!
It will make you appreciate home!
You will experience the best feeling of your life, as you hit the city limits on the way home and say to yourself
"I'm Glad That's Over!"