The Jaxson

Jacksonville by Neighborhood => Downtown => Topic started by: Metro Jacksonville on April 01, 2010, 06:08:34 AM

Title: City to build Homeless Shelter in Hemming Plaza
Post by: Metro Jacksonville on April 01, 2010, 06:08:34 AM
City to build Homeless Shelter in Hemming Plaza

(http://photos.metrojacksonville.com/photos/820691979_f2UHL-M.jpg)

As part of the plan to revitalize downtown, the City of Jacksonville announced that it will build a permanent homeless facility in Hemming Plaza. Since the city has utilized Hemming Plaza as a temporary homeless facility for the past few years, the move to make it permanent seems like a no brainer.

Full Article
http://www.metrojacksonville.com/article/2010-apr-city-to-build-homeless-shelter-in-hemming-plaza
Title: Re: City to build Homeless Shelter in Hemming Plaza
Post by: brainstormer on April 01, 2010, 06:36:38 AM
Thanks for starting my day off with a smile :)
Title: Re: City to build Homeless Shelter in Hemming Plaza
Post by: BridgeTroll on April 01, 2010, 06:38:48 AM
 :D :D
Title: Re: City to build Homeless Shelter in Hemming Plaza
Post by: simms3 on April 01, 2010, 07:07:29 AM
Oh. My. God. My heart stopped when I saw this at first! hahahaha :)
Title: Re: City to build Homeless Shelter in Hemming Plaza
Post by: sheclown on April 01, 2010, 07:47:03 AM
funny guys.
Title: Re: City to build Homeless Shelter in Hemming Plaza
Post by: Hurricane on April 01, 2010, 07:48:42 AM
You got me!  I almost did not read the disclaimer and I was just about to start calling everyone I know...  Phew.  Good one.
Title: Re: City to build Homeless Shelter in Hemming Plaza
Post by: copperfiend on April 01, 2010, 07:56:57 AM
Good one guys. I was getting pretty upset.
Title: Re: City to build Homeless Shelter in Hemming Plaza
Post by: tpot on April 01, 2010, 07:58:19 AM
Be careful the City might just read this and think it's a good idea............oh yeah, while we're at it, could we please build the homeless another pocket park to hang out in.  the one on Main Street is packed....
Title: Re: City to build Homeless Shelter in Hemming Plaza
Post by: lindab on April 01, 2010, 07:58:56 AM
You got me. What a way to start the day!!
Title: Re: City to build Homeless Shelter in Hemming Plaza
Post by: Keith-N-Jax on April 01, 2010, 07:59:54 AM
Thank GOD I was getting to put my house up 4 sale,,,lol
Title: Re: City to build Homeless Shelter in Hemming Plaza
Post by: devlinmann on April 01, 2010, 08:21:05 AM
You got me
Title: Re: City to build Homeless Shelter in Hemming Plaza
Post by: vicupstate on April 01, 2010, 08:41:07 AM
I was about three or four sentences in before I realized.  The clever part is, the idea was actually credible.
Title: Re: City to build Homeless Shelter in Hemming Plaza
Post by: Dog Walker on April 01, 2010, 08:44:01 AM
Really cleverly written and takes advantage of our level of confidence in the City to make good plans and decisions.
Title: Re: City to build Homeless Shelter in Hemming Plaza
Post by: Tripoli1711 on April 01, 2010, 08:50:10 AM
I love it.   :D  I just hope that if a tourist does a google search, er.. a Topeka search of "Hemming Plaza" this article title doesn't flash as a result!
Title: Re: City to build Homeless Shelter in Hemming Plaza
Post by: jaxlore on April 01, 2010, 08:50:26 AM
too funny. i almost started to believe it until you started talking about it being an anchor to the other side of laura st and then i just had this confused look on my face.
Title: Re: City to build Homeless Shelter in Hemming Plaza
Post by: 77danj7 on April 01, 2010, 09:28:35 AM
Wow...I should have know.  I was getting so mad as I continued to read this
Title: Re: City to build Homeless Shelter in Hemming Plaza
Post by: Captain Zissou on April 01, 2010, 09:43:36 AM
Hilarious.  I am going to email it to a ton of people.  I freaked out at first, so I scrolled straight to the comments and spoiled the surprise.  Funny article though.
Title: Re: City to build Homeless Shelter in Hemming Plaza
Post by: hooplady on April 01, 2010, 09:50:01 AM
Even though I thought you might do something like this today, you STILL got me for a couple of heart-stopping seconds!
Title: Re: City to build Homeless Shelter in Hemming Plaza
Post by: Abhishek on April 01, 2010, 10:01:55 AM
i was laughing my ass off when I read the headline. This is better than Topeka!
"Using the specially designed planter outside Terry Noran's restaurant" cracked me up!
Title: Re: City to build Homeless Shelter in Hemming Plaza
Post by: Bativac on April 01, 2010, 10:15:56 AM
Good one! My heart skipped a beat. You had me until you brought up Terry Noran.
Title: Re: City to build Homeless Shelter in Hemming Plaza
Post by: Burn to Shine on April 01, 2010, 12:47:29 PM
I really hate April Fool's Day.
Title: Re: City to build Homeless Shelter in Hemming Plaza
Post by: tufsu1 on April 01, 2010, 01:03:22 PM
Ok...I found one even better...and this one almost looks official!

http://webapps.jhu.edu/jhuniverse/featured/naming_announcement_april01/
Title: Re: City to build Homeless Shelter in Hemming Plaza
Post by: newzgrrl on April 01, 2010, 01:20:59 PM
Hilarious! Great work, MJ. I especially love the heartfelt reaction of Terry Noran. Why aren't all restaurateurs so understanding?
Title: Re: City to build Homeless Shelter in Hemming Plaza
Post by: heights unknown on April 01, 2010, 03:33:59 PM
It's about time the City of Jacksonville FINALLY got it right. Now Miami, Fort Lauderdale, Tampa, St. Petersburg, and Orlando (Florida's major cities), and others, need to do the same.

God bless Jacksonville.

"HU"
Title: Re: City to build Homeless Shelter in Hemming Plaza
Post by: stjr on April 01, 2010, 06:34:15 PM
You left out a few juicy details:

Under standard City building protocols, this homeless shelter will take up 7 blocks and cost north of $350 million! Maybe $400 million with the dome on top (a lighthouse with beacon was considered but that idea was already taken).  Richly paneled rooms with all the comforts that luxury can afford.  Will even have a special several hundred thousand dollar cross-walk to keep the homeless dry.  The highlight feature will be the green out front to set up tents for camping out and to accommodate smokers who wish to light up at the campfires.

Since this is a "shelter", Jax plans to have JTA pay for the project with 8 story, 2 block long, ads covering the sides of the building and rivaling those in Times Square.  When people picture the Jax skyline, the ads will be the dominant feature, finally giving Jax that "signature" landmark to be known 'round the world. 

No shelter is complete without expanding the $ky-high-way, forever in search of riders.  If people live there, we want the $ky-high-way going by their doorstep.  The homeless are not to be denied!

Another phase will spend $25 million on the fountain bath across the river.  To reach it, Jax will build a $400,000 dock on each side to accommodate boat transit just in case the homeless find the $ky-high-way too unclean for their taste.

Future homeless shelters are planned on the Shipyard's site and Cecil Field given that no one else can put these properties to productive use.  If the cruise ship port falls through, another will be added at Mayport.

All remaining neglected historic structures in town, having no value as anything but homeless hideouts, will be destroyed to insure the homeless only hang out in authorized shelters.

Lastly, Macy's Department Store, according to a little birdie, may open downtown, as well, to service the congregating homeless.

All in all, Jax has determined that bringing the homeless downtown will finally give it the residents long sought for and begin the resurgence of the urban core.

;D
Title: Re: City to build Homeless Shelter in Hemming Plaza
Post by: urbanlibertarian on April 01, 2010, 06:40:08 PM
Wow, stjr!  It sounded awful until you mentioned the "8 story, 2 block long, ads covering the sides of the building and rivaling those in Times Square".  Now I can't wait!
Title: Re: City to build Homeless Shelter in Hemming Plaza
Post by: buckethead on April 01, 2010, 07:11:10 PM
Finally city government steps up to the plate!

Kudos, Mayor Peyton! Your legacy is soon to be in place!
Title: Re: City to build Homeless Shelter in Hemming Plaza
Post by: Ocklawaha on April 02, 2010, 12:09:00 AM
STJR, With the magnitude of this one-of-a-kind project which seems to apex of social services, the Skyway (Jacksonville's Monorail), will not do. As we are soon to be the worlds premier homeless provisioning center, I plan to present a proposal for a Subway with several lines.  Once constructed this new system will have terminals in all of our major railroad yards, high traffic intersections, Scotties and other better liquor stores, the jail and courthouse complex. Certainly no project as bold as this will progress much beyond the study stage unless all of us rise up and make our cause known to all.

OCKLAWAHA
Title: Re: City to build Homeless Shelter in Hemming Plaza
Post by: Keith-N-Jax on April 02, 2010, 12:22:29 AM
You guys have taken it to a new level. :)
Title: Re: City to build Homeless Shelter in Hemming Plaza
Post by: Debbie Thompson on April 02, 2010, 09:48:35 AM
:-)  You had me until Dudley Dooright.
Title: Re: City to build Homeless Shelter in Hemming Plaza
Post by: gatorback on April 02, 2010, 09:55:15 AM
OCKLAWAHA, Don't forget the airship landing pad atop the roof!
Title: Re: City to build Homeless Shelter in Hemming Plaza
Post by: Seraphs on April 05, 2010, 11:38:00 AM
'Punked!' Thanks, my heart needed that!
Title: Re: City to build Homeless Shelter in Hemming Plaza
Post by: Mondo on April 20, 2010, 10:02:46 AM
Omg! Are you serious? Why don't we buy a billboard in every major city with bus service and announce we want homeless in Jacksonville Eat Free, sleep inside if you want, you can pan handle and make enough money to support your drug habit and if you use the street as your toilet you can become a YouTube star!

Seriously... I'm not an expert but here is my take on our HUGE PROBLEM with downtown development...
It's homeless then parking! Period the end.
 There are 4 types of homeless
1. Those who are homeless from circumstance... Prolonged job loss, illness, etc... None of us begrudge giving support to anyone who is trying to be productive and has hit a bad bump in the road. Especially families who fall victim to our economic instabilty.
2. The mentally ill. These people need our protection. Some of them can't manage their own basic hygene much less secure food or shelter. They are being left to fend for themselves in a dangerous environment. We should provide a better solution for the longterm social services care of these most vulnerable of our citizens. It's criminal not to.
3. The addicted. This makes up probably (I'm guessing here) 80% of the people who are homeless. They can't hold a job because they are zombies in search of drugs or alchohol. We are enbling these poor people to remain in a life of torment by giving them only basic food, water and shelter with no rehab or way out of their situation. It's simple ... We need to mandate intensive rehab when these people receive assistance. And we as a city need to STOP THE PANHANDLING!!! Stop giving these people money. They use it for drugs. If you want to feed them fine, but them a cheeseburger and a bottle of water. We are the problem not the homeless! If we don't give them money they won't stay here. A lot of those people hustling are not even homeless. They are just hustling because it works! Rehab and no more giving money to street people!!!!
4. Those people who are in every society who simply chose a nomadic approach to life. These are the people who make camps in the woods. They seem to be a little more independant and self reliant for shelter and food. Some of them are capable of day labor jobs or holding the sign out by traffic.  They aren't usually the ones wandering around downtown all night juiced up on meth or
whatever those poor people are on. All of these people place a drain on our hospitals, and our image. We are not helping any of these people by creating a situation where they are stuck! We are creating ferrel people and enabling a whole bunch of drug use and alchohol abuse.

Let's stop the cycle and help these people... And clean up our downtown and our city image.
Rehab for everyone who gets assistance, no more panhandling and better social services for the mentally ill.

 
Title: Re: City to build Homeless Shelter in Hemming Plaza
Post by: Mondo on April 20, 2010, 10:09:27 AM
I know it's a joke... But it really isn't funny. It's costing us millions upon millions of dollars... And the way we are handling our homeless is enabling them to be drug and alchohol addicts.

Makes my heart heart to see what we are doing.
Title: Re: City to build Homeless Shelter in Hemming Plaza
Post by: Ernest Street on April 20, 2010, 11:58:03 AM
Ahh Mondo, you have encountered "The Professional Panhandler" My brother witnessed one daily regular next to Hemmings whip out a cell phone after hours of begging, and get picked up by some man in a car. Another takes cabs home after panhandling....so please Folks! stop giving cash to anybody that just asks for it.
My favorite one around I-10/95 interchange that we have all been hearing for years is the "Hey man..I'm out of gas here off the interstate and need cash to get back to (fill in the blank) Georgia."   One guy forgot who I was and asked me twice several hours later... :D
Title: Re: City to build Homeless Shelter in Hemming Plaza
Post by: videojon on August 18, 2010, 04:32:46 PM
i was beginning to wonder
Title: Re: City to build Homeless Shelter in Hemming Plaza
Post by: flo on August 23, 2010, 11:46:31 AM
dont you people have some grass to mow or a soccer game to take your little clones to? jeez
Title: Re: City to build Homeless Shelter in Hemming Plaza
Post by: 904Scars on August 23, 2010, 12:01:06 PM
dont you people have some grass to mow or a soccer game to take your little clones to? jeez

Huh?
Title: Re: City to build Homeless Shelter in Hemming Plaza
Post by: KuroiKetsunoHana on August 23, 2010, 02:40:46 PM
i don't know, judging from her(?) few posts, it looks like flo is setting out to be unpleasant enough make me look warm and friendly.

(edited for clarity)
Title: Re: City to build Homeless Shelter in Hemming Plaza
Post by: uptowngirl on August 23, 2010, 03:07:56 PM
i don't know, judging from her(?) few posts, it looks like flo is setting out to be unpleasant enough make me look warm and friendly.

(edited for clarity)

+1
Title: Re: City to build Homeless Shelter in Hemming Plaza
Post by: heights unknown on August 25, 2010, 08:54:04 AM
I'm a social service worker and homelessness advocate and I was getting ready to yell "hooray!" But even if it were so it wouldn't be a good idea.  Almost had me as well.  That was a good one.

"HU"