WHEREAS, in order to completely rid Hemming Plaza of seating, the ledges surrounding the two fountains in the park must be removed, and the fountains filled in; and
WHEREAS, homeless individuals may also choose to sit on the smaller ledges of the planters, these too must be leveled and brought down to grade; and
WHEREAS, as the aforementioned poor might find respite by sitting on the ground, the square must be surrounded by fencing, and made accessible only to upstanding white citizens with good credit ratings and teeth corrected by braces and peroxide gels; now therefore
BE IT RESOLVED that I no longer wish to live in this backwards, shortsighted city which tries desperately to mask it's racism and poor problem solving skills behind a thin veneer of failed public policy.