I Cheated....

January 6, 2015 8 comments Open printer friendly version of this article Print Article

A guest editorial by Life Coach Knecole Lawton for all of us making New Year's resolutions for 2015.

I tried to be faithful for a while and follow her, but I was afraid of depending on her. She was everything I ever wanted. To put my all in her and to not get her would leave me devastated. So I gave enough to keep the possibility of us alive while I took solace in the comforts of the complacent. Those that didn’t want much and delivered gratification for that moment. As long as I hid my actions, I could continue living the lie of a future with her. Overtime, I got sloppy and my actions showed my intention, but I was able to hide behind excuses of "it's a one-time thing." Then getting caught became the norm and I couldn't lie it away, so I stopped trying but continued cheating. I actually blamed her for my actions because she wanted more from me than I could give and blame turned to anger.

What happens when you ignore your dream?

She leaves you with your reality and for a while you are happy. With no expectations of yourself, you can actually just do what feels good to you and not what is good for you. Then one day I woke up and it didn't feel good anymore. I still did it because over time action becomes habit and habit becomes tradition and with tradition you forget why and you accept that it is how things are done. Now that things have gotten out of hand and it is too hard to unravel past mistakes. You have given your situation the divine title of an act of God, like Red Tide affects people. But like Red Tide, people ignore the fact that Red Tide can be a change in wind direction to blow the things that we dump in the water back at us. If we never put toxic things out there, then toxic things wouldn't come back to us. My actions gave my results.

So what did I do?

I got back to the person I was meant to be. That meant changing the actions that led me to be who I was. I was a cheater. I cheated on who I was meant to be with who I allowed myself to be. But--I am happy to say I am faithful to my future. Was it hard? Absolutely! Is it worth it? Absolutely!

Here’s to a new you in the New Year.

Editorial by Knecole Lawton, Life Coach. Contact Knecole at 904.428.8684 or Inspire@knecole.com