Long Day's Journey Into Plight. Stephen Dare Wrassles the Transit System.

[02roadking]

That is some hilarious stuff about the deer encounter. Really pisses me off about people throwing crap at someone walking down the road though.

[ProjectMaximus]

This is terrific!! I mean, knowing in hindsight that you have survived, of course.

I lived in Deercreek for many years and, yes, there are deer living in the "wild" in Jax. Of course, my only encounters with these creatures came from the seat of a wheeled vehicle, whether a car or bicycle.

That is some hilarious stuff about the deer encounter. Really pisses me off about people throwing crap at someone walking down the road though.

[stephendare]

That is some hilarious stuff about the deer encounter. Really pisses me off about people throwing crap at someone walking down the road though.

its ridonkulous, and so widespread that there are going to have to be laws passed and enforced to stop it.

[urbanlibertarian]

One would think pennies thrown from a moving vehicle would qualify as a deadly weapon.

[stephendare]

One would think pennies thrown from a moving vehicle would qualify as a deadly weapon.

No doubt, check out what happened here
http://www.metrojacksonville.com/forum/index.php/topic,2953.msg34915.html#msg34915


lol.  thanks maximus,

you would think that it didnt get any less transit like than a rout by deer, ( http://www.metrojacksonville.com/forum/index.php/topic,2953.msg34915.html#msg34915 ) but the best is yet to come.

A busdriver freakout, screams and a powerstruggle for the ride back to town mediated by HQ.

That part (upcoming) is especially vivid

[stephendare]

The Equestrian Center was everything I had hoped that it would be.  Fun, relaxing, easy to use, easy to like.

Of course I did have some transit anxiety.

The bus which I needed to catch back to town left at 5.25, which mean that I needed an hour lead time to get to wherever the bus stop was near the corner of New World and Normandy.

I showered, dressed and feeling tremendously at peace with the world I set out to find the bus stop.

Remembering to welts raised on my legs by the pennies thrown by the motorists, I was understandably reluctant to immediately head towards the highway.

I briefly considered the trails again, but unable to calculate the odds of chance deer migrations, i quickly decided against it.

Well thats all there was to it.  The highway.  Only I would endeavor to stay out of reach of the cars.

It actually began as a nice walk.  That particular day wasnt as hot as many recent ones, and there was cloud cover.  I was in fine spirits.

This lasted about a hundred yards, or the amount of time that it took for an enterprising ape in a backwards baseball cap shoved over his greasy blond hair to lean almost completely out of a car window and launch a missile of Wendy's Iced Tea.

While he missed direct contact, there was sufficient sweet brown rain that i was lightly showered in the drink of Cornbread Champions.   I edged a few feet further from the road.


Not another hundred feet had passed before the next drink was tossed.   This time it was a cola of some kind in a Gate cup.  It missed altogether.  Ha!  Losers.

In all, four drinks and an unidentified object were aimed at me, although only the Sweet Tea connected it.

I took out the cell phone and held it up to ear, and after that the attacks ceased.

I had been walking for about 40 minutes when I finally approached the huge intersection of New World and Normandy.

Now this is putatively near the spot where the Bus stop back to town was supposed to be located.

I checked my cell phone for the time.

5:10. 

Holy Hell.   This was no situation to be pressed for time.

I looked searchingly in all directions.

As far as the eye could see, there was nothing remotely resembling a bus stop.

Remembering the direction that the Bus Driver who brought me from the city had indicated, I turned right and began walking to the next major intersection.

This was 103rd.

I began to panic a little.

I called Customer Service at 630-3100

[stephendare]

Customer Service was certain that there was a stop at the corner of Normandy and New World Road, an illusion of which I disabused them.

Not only was there no bus stop at Normandy and New World Road, but in no way could one describe a bus stop as even being remotely close to that excellent corner.  And by 'excellent' I mean 'having the curious power to magnetically attract motorists with a pathological need to hurl refuse at pedestrians'.

Where was I now? the troubled operator, Glenda asked.

At the corner of New World and 103rd, I informed.

She patiently checked, all the while I could feel an internal hourglass whose sand was slipping unstoppably away.

"Well it says here that the nearest stop to you is at the corner of Perimeter and New World.

Which might as well have been at the corner of Mowgli and Tarzan, as I had no idea where either of these two were, but assumed with reason that they might involve the untamed jungle and wild beasts.

I asked the helpful JTA Service Operator where exactly that was from 103rd and New World.

"Baby, I don't know......"  came the all too tragic reply.  "I'm not familiar with either of those roads."


"Well Im not either, and Ive already been attacked by wild animals and people throwing things at me.  Isnt there a map or something?  Just give me a direction.   How long until the bus reaches the last stop out here?"

As the good Glenda was simultaneously trying to answer all of these questions as once, off in the distance, coming straight for me down 103rd I could see the bus.

Panicked I looked around in all directions for a stop.

There wasnt one.  There wasnt even a sign that might be used to herald a bus.  It was as though there had never been a bus that had intentionally driven through this part of town.

My panic managed to convey itself through the phone line.

"Whats it doing?!" asked Glenda sounding a little anxious herself.

"Its just driving!  There's no stop here!  Wait!"

"What?!  Whats it doing now?"  she asked.

"Its stopping for the traffic light."  I said.

"Well try and flag it down."  she said.

I ran.  I ran like a christmas shopper on December 24th who realizes that there is only ONE copy of Halo 9 left on the shelves and some low competitor is also trying to get to the same shelf at the same time.

This ended up being, by far, the most dangerous decision that I would make for the entire day.

[stephendare]

I gratefully leaped aboard the completely empty bus and explained to the unsympathetic looking busdriver that Customer Service was on the phone.

He stared at me evenly and told me that this wasnt a bus stop.

I acknowledged that it wasn't a bus stop but pointed out to him that there wasnt a bus stop anywhere near here.

He returned my clear plea with a dogged.  "This isn't a bus stop".

"Yeah?  Well I've already walked a mile or so, there isnt a bus stop at Normandy and New World, nor is there one here at New World and 103rd.  Where is the nearest bus stop?"

"About a mile away."  he informed me with no sense of irony.

"Am I supposed to race you to it on foot?"  I asked.

"Sir this isnt a bus stop."

"Well I'm not about to run to the next one, perhaps you can just let me ride."

"Sir this isnt' a bus stop.  You need to get off the bus."

"Im already on the bus, Why can't you just let me ride?"

By now the bus driver was getting visibly angry.  Which made me stir with a little internal temper myself. 

Now as an aside, this is ridiculous.   We arent paying millions of dollars every year for a mass transit system whose purpose is to provide the operators of the buses with a handbag full of reasons to deny transit to customers.   Who the hell made it ok for these people to get angry at customers for wanting to ride the damned buses? 

"Sir you will have to get off of the bus." he repeated loudly.

In the interest of arguing with me, the driver had let his foot off of the brake, and as we were at an intersection, the bus had slowly begun to creep out into traffic.

Because the fool was turned and focused on me for the sole purpose of telling me that I wasnt allowed to ride the bus he was totally oblivious of the fact that a speeding 18 wheel truck was coming directly down the lane that he was creeping incrementally towards.

I however, was facing his seat and could see the truck clearly. 

Far too clearly.

I tried to warn him, but he cut me off. 

"You will have to get off of the bus.  NOW!"

"Would you shut up and------!"

"Who are you telling to shut up!"  he demanded.   

The 18 Wheeler was bearing down on us.  It was going to be a close call, and it seemed to me that we would enter the far lane just in time to hit the truck as it passed.

For the second time that day I screamed, pointing frantically at the truck.

The driver SLAMMED on the brakes just in the nick of time, first throwing me forward and then jerking me backwards into the aisle.

From my recumbent position I heard the man cry "That was YOUR fault!  Now you really are going to have to get OFF this bus!"

[Midway]

If you just would have retired to the rear of the bus you probably would have been OK, assuming that you were not consumed in the resultant fire.

For sure there would have been one less surly JTA busdriver on this Earth.

[Ocklawaha]

Shame on you Stephen, distracting this driver like that from tossing you into the street and almost causing an accident. All these damn tax payers and they all think JTA, or the City owes them something, I really thought you were more liberal minded. Reminds me of people that would call Postal Dispatch, back when we had posted phone numbers, and complain that "Aunt Gertrudes letter was in a van with 360,839 other pieces of mail, and they didn't mean to be so mean, so would we just pull the letter out and send it back..." AFTER ALL THEY PAID OUR SALARY! NOT! LOL~!!!

Keep up the good work, I'm glad to see JTA is open to this and is taking notes, let's give the old semi-scheduled system the heave-ho, and re-create it in a modern customer driven service image. It might interest the JTA management team that the Silver Meteor Arrived on the second, out at Amtrak at 5:00 pm Sunday afternoon. Only the JTA Amtrak service pulled away from the station at 10 till. Now granted it COULD have brought folks to the train... The station was far more crowded then I've ever seen the Airport. But why the hell doesn't the driver have a lay-over (bathroom break) at Amtrak. Standing instructions, ask is the Meteor or which ever train is due (and make sure he knows those trains) is running on time. If yes, or down 15 minutes then flex the bus time so he can hold for connections. A radio call to dispatch, JTA XXX holding at Amtrak for connections, ETA Rosa Parks XXXX. If it becomes aparent that the train is getting later, then simply pass it to the next bus in 45 minutes or an hour. If it's the last bus of the day, he can hold as long as his service hours allow.

Ditto for the Airport. Did the guys at Air JTA EVER think that the airlines even in non-hubs, still use a micro-hub schedule trick? Notice how all Delta, or USAir flights will be on the ground around the same time, then leave back to back? That's for connections... and yes, lot's of people connect in Jacksonville. In fact this is a growing trend. WHY don't we get into their heads and have AIR JTA, custom tailored to those groupings, hold as needed. And BTW, Jax is the home base of many flights and turn-arounds. We collect them from all around the East at 10:30 pm-12:30 am or so, then pretty much close the place until those same flights originate out in the early morning hours of 5:00-6:45 am. Is Air JTA serving this little known market? If not why not?

LETS DO IT JAX.

OCKLAWAHA

[stephendare]

LOL, THERES MORE

[BridgeTroll]

  :DI have been away for a few days and read your new thread from beginning to end. I cannot remember the last time I laughed so hard. I am glad I did not read this at work...   I have spent the better part of my life in the woods and am very familiar with white tail deer and their habits... They can be aggressive but 99% of the time will give humans a wide berth.  I can only assume it was the presence of the fawn that caused the reaction.

I am also very familiar with the humans who live at that end of Normandy and their reaction to you walking on the side of the road is not surprising... sadly, while we should expect animals to behave as such... we should expect human behavior from humans...

[stephendare]

I struggled to my feet, by now thoroughly insulted and offended as well as tired of being attacked by deer, Normandy motorists, and now this.

"Well, I am not going to get off the bus.   This is ridiculous.  Youve nearly killed the both of us with this nonsense, and it really is as simple as driving on to the next bus stop."

The drivers face underwent a transformation that was both angry and even more mulish than before.  I could see him mentally digging his heels in.

"Oh, we will see who is going to get off this bus.  You think Im playing with you."

He wheeled across the highway and pulled off on the side of the road.

"What are you doing?"  I demanded.  Afraid that it was all too sadly, all too tragically clear.

"We are going to wait right here until you get off the bus"

Already experienced with waiting for the Rapture, I instead pulled out my cell phone and dialed JTA Customer Service.

'You DO realize that this bus is supposed to be public transit right?  Im your only passenger and you are screaming at me.  And you wonder why no one is willing to ride the bus system?  Well YOU are part of the reason."  I said to him as penetratingly as I could.

At this he lost his mind and began gibbering loudly and imprecatingly.  None of the noises coming out of him sounded nice.

Customer Service picked up the phone.  It was Glenda.

"Hey, I'm having the most extraordinary time with your bus driver.   He's yelling and screaming at me in the background and has pulled the bus over on the side of the road and is telling me that Im going to be removed from the bus.   Can you transfer me to Mr. Blaylock's office?"

In the background the yelling and screaming increased in volume and intensity.

"Is that the driver"  asked the customer service agent.

"Oh yeah.  That's him." 

"Oh my goodness."

The bus driver, left to his own devices, began making calls and radio transmissions of his own.  Apparently two could play at this game.

As I waited for Glenda to transfer me over to the main office, I could hear him talking to either the dispatcher or the police, in either case he was requesting back up to remove a belligerent passenger. 

"I'm holding for Mr. Blaylock"  I informed him as he hung up his line and stared at me with deep bitterness.   This information seemed to have the same effect as slapping him across the face might.

"I don't care WHO you are holding for, you are getting OFF this damn bus. And besides you arent holding for Mr. Blaylock"

As though he had spoken truth to power, the line to JTA went dead.

"This is ridiculous, and you know what, im going to write about this."  I told him.   "And while you don't know who the hell I am, Im actually doing a series of articles about the JTA and its service."

This last bit, far from fanning down the fire had the same effect as throwing gasoline in copious amounts over the top of a well lit barbeque.

The driver began bellowing and actually got up out of his seat.

I quickly, desperately, redialed the number to customer service, squirming uncomfortably through the 'all of our customer service representatives are busy with other customers' message.  If I was about to be savagely beaten to death on a public bus, at least there would be a lone witness.

Well maybe not much of a witness, but at least they would hear my final moments.  Maybe someone would be concerned enough to search the bus for signs of a struggle if not a body.

I glumly considered how easy it would be for this maniac to dispose of my corpse.  He would probably feed it to that demonic deer.  He seemed like the sort.  Him and the deer, gloating over my final demise.  The image just burned me up.  Well, I wasnt going to go into that good night without a fight.....

If I had to, I would tell on him.

 

[RiversideGator]

:DI have been away for a few days and read your new thread from beginning to end. I cannot remember the last time I laughed so hard. I am glad I did not read this at work...   I have spent the better part of my life in the woods and am very familiar with white tail deer and their habits... They can be aggressive but 99% of the time will give humans a wide berth.  I can only assume it was the presence of the fawn that caused the reaction.

I am also very familiar with the humans who live at that end of Normandy and their reaction to you walking on the side of the road is not surprising... sadly, while we should expect animals to behave as such... we should expect human behavior from humans...

I have hunted deer a lot too and have never seen quite this reaction.  Usually they hightail it when they see any sign of a human nearby, especially in areas with hunters.  The fawn may have caused it although bucks are not noted for their fatherly protective instincts.

One time, I did shoot one of a pair of does in a field and the other doe just stared me down.  I thought about shooting her too but decided I didnt want to deal with 2 dead deer so I waved my arms and shouted and she ran off.  So, I guess anything can happen with a wild animal.

[stephendare]

Well, River for once, you and your guns would have been wholeheartedly welcome.  I hope to God I never have dealings with deer for the rest of my natural life.