Political Ironist: 9 Political Predictions for 2017January 1, 2017 0 comments Print Article
First Political Prediction of 2017: It will be revealed that Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell has been dead for 10 years. A beta-tested android replaced him that was programmed talk and respond on issues just as he did. To the chagrin of the android’s developers, it was found that the McConnell’s talking points haven’t been updated for eight years which accounts for the Kentucky Senator repeating in private “we intend to make him a one-term president” regarding President-elect Donald Trump.
Second Political Prediction of 2017: Interior Secretary, Ryan Zinke’s, first decree will be to issue a permit to the Trump Corporation to build a Hotel in the Grand Canyon at the base of Bright Angel Trail. A 1,000-year deluge will cause the Colorado River to flood sweeping the property to the Gulf of California. The following year an unusual amount of gold chandeliers and gold toilet tissue holders will be found on Craig’s List Mexico.
Third Political Prediction of 2017: Paul McCartney, Beyonce, U2, Elton John and Bruno Mars all decline appearances to perform at President Trump’s Inauguration. Trump tweets they are “musical lightweights” and that he will instead feature tribute bands to the “true giants” of the industry, Mantovani, BeeGees and The Carpenters